A Funny Flashback

I was fifteen, thousands of miles from home, and dealing with the oppressive Southern July heat. I was in Florida at a three-week summer music camp, and enjoying every minute of it, despite being at a super-strict Christian college! (I liked to call it Pensacola Concentration Camp)

Almost every evening in the cafeteria, I was in the habit of selecting a random table full of campers I hadn't met yet and dining with them, so that I'd keep on meeting new people. One night, as I left the food line and surveyed the available tables, I caught sight of one table with a girl, a short guy, a tall guy, and one empty seat. Perfect.


So I sat down, and the introductions began! "I'm Stephani," said the girl. The short guy chimed in: "My name's Keith, and this guy is Brenden." He pointed to the tall guy.

Now, I'm usually really bad at remembering names, and since camp was already almost halfway over, I was getting really tired of being forgetful. I was determined to remember THESE names, at least! So I mentally repeated to myself over and over, "Stephani. Keith. Brenden. Keith. Brenden. Stephani." The rest of the dinner was lighthearted and fun, and I made sure to use their names a lot. "So, what instrument do you play, BRENDEN?" "Where are you from, KEITH?"

And believe it or not, I had their names memorized by the end of dinnertime! I was so PROUD of myself! So for the next ten days of camp or so, I relished every opportunity to use this knowledge. Since I seemed to run into Brenden the most, he got to hear his name called a lot.

"How's it going, Brenden?" "Nice to see you again, Brenden!" From across the campus: "HI, BRENDEN!!!!"

So it was utterly crushing when he pulled me aside a couple days before the end of camp, and said, "Um, Keith calls me Brenden because he thinks I look like Brenden Frasier, the movie star. My name is actually Adam."


And that, folks, is how I met my husband.


I think his name is Adam. I'll never be quite sure.


Have a Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow! Whether you have a sweetie or not, be sure to enjoy lots of chocolate! :-)

I actually still keep in touch with Stephani, whose real name is still Stephani. Thank God. Be sure to check out her blog!

Wisecracks

Driving home from a birthday party last night, Adam and I were discussing the various physical changes that pregnancy has brought on me.


Me: I've had a few people tell me that I'm glowing.

Adam: I know-- it's been keeping me awake at night!


Silly, silly husband.

A Few Practical Marriage Observations

June is the legendary month of weddings. There are more friends getting married and celebrating anniversaries than I can shake a stick at! In the wake of my own recent wedding anniversary in May, my parent's upcoming twenty-fifth anniversary, and the slew of June weddings, I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a successful marriage.


Since I've been married two whole years now and am now a marriage expert (ha ha), here are a few observational tidbits that I think make a marriage great. This is geared more towards the fairer half of the union, but I guess the guys can read it too, if they want!


1. Treat your spouse just as courteously as you'd treat other people that you don't have to live with. My parents are awesome examples of this. I've never heard them raise their voices at each other or do the Name Game thing. What I did hear growing up were a lot of Please and Thank you and Let me help with that! They'll be celebrating their 25th anniversary in September, and I think that continuing this pattern has done a world of good in my own marriage.


2. Always greet the hubby with a big smile! I've noticed that how my hubby and I greet each other largely sets the tone for the rest of our interaction. So why not make it positive? Don't worry; there will be plenty of time for him to find out what a lousy day you had. :-P


3. Nags are old horses. Don't be one. Usually what I do for, um, a problematic request is ask on two or three occasions, and then do the darn thing myself. Most of the time, when DH sees me doing his job, he'll take over.


4. There are a bazillion excuses we wives give in order to not make love: we're tired, we're not in the mood, we don't want to deal with the mess, we don't have time, our big toe hurts, we just did our hair, and the list goes on and on and on and on. Ninety-nine percent of the time, though, it all boils down to one thing: inconvenience. Getting past my excuses and getting it on because I love my husband, even when all the stars are not aligned and I'm not particularly in the mood, and then choosing to participate- CHEERFULLY!- (notice that both words are emphasized!)-- is a great marriage builder. Hubby feels loved, and I usually end up having a great time, too!


5. Try to refrain from constantly pointing out everything he's doing wrong. ESPECIALLY if it's a household chore he's doing just for you. Unless, of course, you don't want him ever doing it again. :-P This also applies to conversations with other people. A wife is supposed to be her man's biggest cheerleader!

So there you have all my sage advice. What would you add to the list?

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This post is a participating entry in We Are THAT Family's Works for Me Wednesday blog carnival.

How We Celebrated Father's Day

Adam is just like a little kid sometimes. He doesn't need fast cars, cool gadgets, or the latest video game to enjoy life. Instead, he relishes the simple things: riding his bike around town, drawing in coloring books with me, and experimenting with stop-motion, among other things. He eagerly anticipates a new Pixar film as much as the latest action film (Toy Story 3 was really good, by the way!). I just love him for being such a kid at heart!

So, it's no surprise that ever since Mother's Day, Adam has been counting the days until Father's Day, when he was planning on going to one of his favorite places in town-- the zoo!!!

Unfortunately, one thing he didn't plan on was having horrible insomnia the night before. He finally got to sleep so late, that I didn't have the heart to wake him up bright and early for the zoo. We spent Sunday pretty lazily.

So today, we had our rendezvous with the zoo. Was the 98-degree weather going to stop Adam? No way, Hosea! I was expecting all the animals to be hiding inside their caves to escape the heat, but I was pleasantly surprised by one the best animal showings I've ever had at this zoo! All the African animals were enjoying the sun, and even all the big cats were out and about!

Before we left the house, I had the brilliant idea of bringing an empty water bottle along and filling it up from the water fountain once we were in the zoo. This was a VERY good idea. I'll never go to zoo without it again!

Well, enough talking! On to the pictures!

Okay, let's get the worst photo out of the way. :-P When we first arrived, Adam really wanted to buy me a hat to keep me cool. Obviously, the hat did not also grant me photogenic powers, but the gift was very sweet!

What a handsome guy I married! We are going to have some gorgeous kids. :-)

Adam playing with the world's largest marble. Or whatever the heck that thing is supposed to be.

One of the stranger exhibits at the zoo.

An Andean Bear enjoying a swim!

This cracked me up! When Adam sat down in front of this tank to take a breather, this fish swam up to check him out...

...And all his fishy buddies got curious, as well!

About to be devoured by the dangerous lion fountain!

This statue at the Amazon exhibit was kind enough to hold my effects while I took pictures.

A giant Amazon catfish!

Cooling off in the polar room. Poor Adam was quite warm!

So that was our day at the zoo. I sure hope it's a lot cooler the next time we go!

What I Learned About Romance Today

Today is what I consider to be our first real married Valentine's Day. Last year, I had to work, and spent all evening watching other couples enjoy a romantic evening out. This year, however, was so special! Adam planned an overnight getaway at our state capitol, so we spent all day seeing the sights, giggling together, and just enjoying each other's company.

Last night, when we first arrived, Adam took me to the Spaghetti Warehouse, a fine Italian restaurant. He definitely knows where a pregnant woman's priorities lie! The place was packed wall-to-wall with couples glowing at each other over spaghetti and Merlot, and we were no exception. Except for the Merlot part, because, you know, Baby isn't such a great wine connoisseur. We had a pleasant time, and one huge helping of lasagna and Caesar salad later, we left happy.

Tonight, just before we left town, we ate dinner at a little hole-in-the-wall pizza-by-the-slice joint (yep, my husband is Italian, through and through!). The place was fairly deserted because it was freezing cold out today, so the Italian music playing overhead was easy to hear. I wasn't too terribly hungry, and the pizza slices were generous, so we bought one to share. And as we sat there, smooshed together in a booth, passing the slice back and forth, I realized, this is what romance looks like.

The wine and the servers and the overpriced pasta is great, but when it all boils down, the most romantic thing in the world is be close to my man, sharing with him (in this case, a delicious piece of pizza). It is very romantic to eat around a part that I know he'd like to have. It is very romantic to see him give that piece right back to me. Freed from enjoying my entree, it is very romantic to enjoy our entree. It is a very shared experience, and for me, sharing is the essence of romance.

Happy Valentine's Day! Be sure to take a minute and tell your spouse how much you love him/her!

Wedding Registry Tips

This year, it seems, all of my friends decided to tie the knot.

Subsequently, I have waded through more than my share of wedding registries, trying to find that perfect gift for them. Some things on the registry made me shout out, "Amen, sister! Good choice!" and others left me chuckling. Seriously, a coaster holder? A banana hook? Blue jeans?

Eventually, I started thinking about my own registry. Having been married for a little over one year, I am now an expert at marriage (ha ha) and can maybe help brides-to-be with what worked for me in my registry.

What turned out to be the THE BEST ITEMS:

Heavy-duty metal measuring cups

• They won't get dents or melt in spots, ensuring accurate measurements every time. Not to mention, they're heat-proof! I once accidentally left a burner on and started a fire with a bunch of metal utensils and a plastic measuring cup. Guess which one bit the dust. Also, I like to occasionally make mini-pies in the metal cups and stick them right in the oven. Try that with your plastic cups! (no, really, please don't)

Knife Block:

• A great way to get all the knives you'll ever need-- and an easy place to store them! Be sure to request a block with knives that you'll actually use. I knew I would need a chef's knife, a bread knife, a paring knife, and some steak knives, so that's what I looked for. A boning knife or an oyster knife, not so much.

Pyrex Dishes

• Mixing bowls, baking dishes, measuring cups: they are all indispensable in my daily kitchen. They are oven-, microwave-, and dishwasher-safe, and they're very hard to break. Believe me, I break things all the time. :-p A huge plus is that they now come with lids!

Something for Hubby

• My husband, who loves quesadillas, was absolutely enthralled with a contraption called a Quesadilla Maker. So, being the nice fiancee that I was, I added it to the registry. Personally, I think it's a waste of cupboard space, plastic, and Chinese labor. But when I see the glow on Adam's face and the chorus of singing angels that fly around his head when he makes quesadillas on that thing, I know that it was a good idea.

What turned out to be a BAD IDEA:

-Kitchen-Aid Mixer

• Hear me out on this. I LOVE Kitchen-Aid. I drool every time I see one in the store. It is awesome. So I asked for it. For some odd reason, however, no one wanted to shell out $300 for a wedding present! What I should have done was ask for a more modest mixer, waited several years, and then twisted Adam's arm on my birthday. :-P But as it is, I ended up having to buy a mixer I could afford... which has one speed and leaves lovely metal shavings in my cookies.

Wine Glasses and the like

• In the spirit of putting enough items on the registry, I asked for all sorts of wine glasses, goblets, snifters... you name it. This may be a good idea if you are a great wine connoisseur or entertain a lot, but as a near-teetotaler who was attending a university with a stiff no-alcohol policy, I wasn't thinking. After the wedding, I set up house with 956878 wine glasses and ZERO real glasses I'd actually use every day.

Incompatible cookware

• Another classic case of Not Thinking. I asked for metal spatulas and stirring utensils to go with my collection of Teflon pans and griddle. I seriously have only one pan I can use those with. After the wedding, I had to go out and buy all silicone/plastic cooking utensils. Did that solve the problem? Mostly. Unfortunately, my dear husband was not as enlightened about not using metal utensils on Teflon. That was a sad day.

Silicone Bakeware

• It is a great idea, unless you're someone like me who hates creating more dirty dishes than necessary. So putting a silicone liner inside a pan I would have used anyways didn't really jive with me after the first few weeks. They now sit on a high shelf and say, "I'M SO LONELY!" every time I open the cupboard.

What I WISH I'd put on the list:

More kitchen utensils

• I forgot to ask for a lot of utensils that I'd need: pizza cutter, ice cream scoop, vegetable peeler, meat thermometer. And a good rule of thumb: you can NEVER have too many scrapers/spatulas, whisks, or wooden spoons.

Rugs

• Nothing says, "home" like bathroom rugs, kitchen rugs, and welcome mats! And nothing hides carpet stains better!

Sheets

• This was a major fail. There is nothing like setting up the bed after a long day of moving and discovering that you don't own a single pair of sheets. And those things are expensive! We went through our first year with one set of sheets, no joke. Wash, dry, and remake the sheets in the same day. Last month, I thought it'd be appropriate to get us a second pair of sheets- second year of marriage and all- and there was much rejoicing in the house.

In conclusion

• Research your registries. Registries are awesome, but some are more awesome than others. I have heard rave reviews about some retail store registries and horror stories about others. I will say this: as a gift buyer, Bed, Bath and Beyond has always been an easy place to navigate with reasonable prices. I would have liked to have registered there, but my tiny hometown was two hours away from the nearest BBB store. The place I registered offered some nice perks, like 5% back on every registry purchase, in the form of a gift card, but the merchandise was a little too expensive for my liking.

• Ask for high-quality items. Lord knows, if you're young like I am, that you probably won't be able to afford this stuff on your own for a while. And it is truly devastating when a wedding present breaks! So ask for things that will stand the test of time.

• Ask for things that you think you'll actually use. Apartment space is limited, after all. Think about what your mom uses in her kitchen/bathroom/bedroom. Ever hear of the 20:80 rule? It states that people use 20 percent of their kitchen items 80 percent of the time.

• Research your appliances. Consumer Report is great for this sort of thing. You don't want a coffee grinder that never fails to give you an uneven grind (this is the voice of experience speaking) or a vacuum that is notorious for clogging up.

I hope this was a help to somebody out there. Have fun with your registry, and Mazel Tof!

This post is linked to We Are THAT Family, who is hosting Works For Me Wednesday. Check out all the great ideas flying around!

Evidently, this whole marriage thing is working out

I am pleased to announce that, as of yesterday, Adam and I have been blissfully married for one whole year!

According to tradition, the one-year anniversary gift is supposed to be paper. This could be a book, a love letter, tickets to something, or whatever else your imagination comes up with. 

Adam told me he was going to buy me a ream of paper. What a romantic! (and a kidder, of course. I hope. For his sake.)

We actually didn't end up giving each other anything because we had an event that disrupted our entire weekend, which I will write about tomorrow. So I'm still open to suggestions as to what to give hubs for our one-year mark!

One fun thing we did was buy the game of Life and play it on a blanket at the park. Adam is awesome because he lets me cheat. I was doomed to go through Life without landing on a single kid space, so he turned a blind eye when I landed on the kid spaces anyway. :-D

So, thank you, Adam, for putting up with me for a whole year! I love you, and am ready to celebrate another hundred anniversaries with you!